Just a few things muddling around in my mind right now, as I think of the relationships that I have (and have had) in my life. Working on consistently being transparent, but my tendencies are pretty deep rooted, so these are just a few words about that struggle.
Sometimes I disappear
Sometimes it is because I am weak
And I don’t want you to see that
Because I know what weakness breeds
And I can’t handle your judgment
Nor can I handle your pity
And sometimes I think you can’t handle me
Because this kind of weak
Well, there is nothing heroic or beautiful about it
It can get just completely ugly and dark in here
And it will change the way that you perceive me
And that scares me
Sometimes I disappear
Sometimes because I am strong
And happy, and living, moving,
And I just don’t want to slow down
Because it is just so good
And if I stop
I may not ever stand up again
So I try to cram as much life into this one day
As I possibly can
And I achieve, and I win
And you look at me proudly
And that scares me as well
Not sure how to keep being true
Not sure if I have that kind of strength
I’m going to keep on trying,
Trying to stay here
But sometimes
I feel that it’s best to disappear.
But You Can't Take My Voice 
This poem describes what I struggle with too. Sometimes it’s so much easier to just disappear.
Trisha, I am sorry to hear that you struggle with this, but I am glad to connect with you in this way. You are definitely not alone. Keep going, keep going. Keep pushing yourself forward, keeping focusing on growth. We have the opportunity to learn and empathize with people in a way that we never would have under different circumstances. You have significance, you are making an impact, and you add value just by being you. Keep “sharing” yourself with others, it is their/our privilege! Little by little we will get stronger, and buck this urge to disappear. xoxo, Aimee
It’s true – sometimes it does seem so much easier to just disappear… This resonates with how I feel some days. There are also times that I ‘disappear’ because I feel like my conditions are a burden. Yucky feeling that I try to squash before it gets too strong. 🙂
Great post! 🙂