If I am to be known for something, I want to be known for loving. Loving a little too much, a little too openly… Maybe being a little “over the top” with my words, putting a little too much thought/prayers into the lives around me, being a little too trusting… a little too blind to others’ shortcomings and forgiving a little too quickly. The mom that says “I love you” so many times that it embarrasses her children. Takes a few too many pictures, laughs a little too hard and gets tickled by things that really should have been frustrating (like my youngest little fireball somehow managing to pick on her big sister!). The daughter that tends to and loves her mother in the same nurturing way that she was tended to and who only sees the positive effort that was given to her with such love during her childhood. I want to be the sister that pushes a little too hard for openness and friendship between each other, the friend who treats her friends like she treats her sister, and the aunt who fusses a little too much and too loudly over how much each little niece and nephew has grown since last they were seen (and man have they grown) and who says too many times how beautiful/handsome and how proud of them she is. I hope to also be the kind of friend that listens without bias, encourages without an agenda, who cries and shares the burden when her friend is hurting and laughs till she cries about the memories that have been formed along this crazy journey of sharing our lives together. To also be the wife that sees her husband in the same way that she saw him when they were dating and who still gets chills up her spine when he holds her and looks into her eyes, and who still considers her husband to be her very best friend. Maybe holds him a little too long each time he heads out the door, and babies him a little too much even though he insists all is well.
I want to work a little too hard for my clients. Go above and beyond and give them a little too much. Maybe expect a little too much of myself. Maybe even encourage others around me to do the same.
I am working hard at becoming a little too transparent… maybe by being so you will see that we are both human… that we have a little more in common than you thought. Maybe we both mess up, we both harbor insecurities, and we both have been hurt… maybe a little too much. I’m definitely not too perfect, and I am not going to waste the energy pretending to be and trying to deceive others, nor could I pull it off. Who likes to hang out with someone who is too perfect anyway? I’m pretty sure that only makes those of us who are a little too flawed feel a little too small!
I want to eat a little too healthy, take care of myself so that I can keep giving. On the other hand… a little too many sweets, too many risks taken, laughing a little too much, wouldn’t hurt my feelings either.
I want to “spend” every ounce of life that has been given to me so that at the end I know that I have given it all, lived completely, not a drop left over. What would be the point of my preserving it, when it might be watered and tended to by you, and grow into something that lives beyond me. That would be amazing. I want my legacy to do that…outlive me. Make an impact, guide and influence, provide for others in some capacity, and touch someone’s life with warmth that is just enough to shift their day towards a positive direction…maybe it could even change their future and in turn the future of someone that they know. Maybe that’s a little too idealistic?
Maybe this is a little too dramatic… a little too sappy…maybe I am a little too naive…but if I am to be known for something… I want to be known for loving this way.
Maybe I am just “a little too___________”. If so, at this moment and time I think I am ok with that.